I don't usually have a hard time making new friends, except when it comes to making gay friends. I get all nervous and paranoid - probably because asking a guy to hang out on platonic terms resembles so closely asking a guy out on a date.
Case in point: I met the cutest guy at my friend's birthday party this weekend.
That someone new was at the party is remarkable in itself; that he was also gay is downright amazing. My friend throws parties all the time, but attendants are more or less the same at each one, and always entirely heterosexual.
Prince Charming didn't know anyone there; he came with someone who knew someone who knew the birthday boy, and I caught him standing by himself in the corner, sipping a beer and looking cute. I admit, I was excited; I'm sorely lacking in chances to make gay friends. Plus, did I mention he was cute? So, with some encouragement from friends (and a little alcohol), I managed to introduce myself and make conversation.
I found out later we were chatting for about a half hour together. He said he studied abroad last semester(!) in Greece (!) and saw the Acropolis every day. His major is in Middle Eastern History, and I believe he's taking Arabic. Sometimes, I learned, he likes to have a drink in Boystown.
Taking that as my cue, I suggested he and I go together sometime and reached for my cell phone. I took it out but, before I could say anything, he said, "Sure, why don't you add me on Facebook?"
I was taken slightly aback by this, but didn't press for his number. Instead, I took down his last name and told him I'd add him soon.
Hm. I'm very often accused of being overly paranoid or pessimistic when it comes to guys, but I can't shake the suspicion that, if he were actually interested in continuing our conversation at another time and place, he'd have given me his number. I suspect that suggesting I add him on Facebook when my cell phone is clearly out in front of me is just a cover. It really means, "I'm not interested, but you can friend-request me if it gets me out of telling you here and now and to your face."
Of course, other people have proposed differing views. He's interested enough, says one, but is being cautious to whom he gives his number. He'd rather filter me through Facebook first. This idea is reasonable. Another is that he's not much of a phone person, and he'll get me his number later once we talk online. This is possible too. My friends are quick to point out Prince Charming and I talked for quite a bit, and that this must be a good sign. This is true, but I remind them that Prince Charming didn't know anyone at the ball, and talking to his beer instead would have been strange.
In any case, I'm not sure what I'll do. I've looked him up, but haven't added him yet. I'm nervous. I don't have a great track record with other gay guys - as friends or otherwise - and I don't need anymore proof of it. But I'd love to get to know the guy; he seemed really cool. At the very least, I want to hear more about his time in Greece!
I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.