4.29.2010

Adult Dating

Around this time last year I went out with a guy in the most literal sense of the term - we went out with each other every weekend for about a month. I remember this because one day, knowing I'm an English major, he informed me it was "Talk Like Shakespeare Day," which was, I believe, last Friday. We texted each other a lot back then and, since we never got to see each other during the week, on Wednesdays or Thursdays he'd suggest we schedule a time to catch up over the phone. I wouldn't call it a relationship, since I suppose neither of us took it very seriously, but we did have good chemistry while it lasted.

That in itself is a distinction, but I also consider this guy my first experience with "adult dating" - that is, I met him at a bar, an adult locale, as opposed to somewhere sophomoric like a website or an apartment party, and went through motions I previously only saw in movies: "Can I get you a drink?" "Sure, let me get your number." And then we did the whole casual dating thing, and it seemed like such a novelty at the time...(still does).

He realized I'm too young for him after a bit, which may or may not be true (he's not that much older), and I've run into him only intermittently since (the last time was in January and involved a very public, very drunken, display of affection). Still, I'm very well-disposed towards the guy.

I bring this up because I ran into him a few weeks ago and things were considerably less emphatic. Not that I expect a large, wet kiss each time I see him (he wasn't nearly drunk enough anyway), but even the small talk was painfully forced: "Hi, what's new?" - "Oh, nothing much..." - "Still at your old place? I thought you moved." - "Yup, still there..." It was so perfunctory, so awkward, and just as quickly as we met, we parted ways.

I guess I find it a little odd to think this guy whose company I used to enjoy, whom I used to talk all the time, is now for most intents and purposes a stranger. But at the same time, I realize it's naive to think people will become friends after the dating stage is over. This type of thing isn't really uncommon anyway.

Then again, I'm a hoarder. I collect things for sentimental value and stash them away even when realistically I know I'll never take them out again. I think if I could I'd do the same with guys, keeping them, however ostensibly, as "friends."

Is this what adult dating is like?

1 comment:

drewberthu said...

Adult dating is variety. So is being an adult. I enjoy your blog.

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