4.15.2010

What's Keeping Me Up

It's nearly four in the morning and I can't sleep.

My mind refuses to turn itself off, a condition I like to call "mental diarrhea." Mostly I'm keeping myself awake imagining hypothetic situations concerning school and work that may or may not ever occur. So to idle away the time, I've decided to list them. I wonder:

1) Whether or not I'll be able to take English 492, the last class I need for my major, next semester, since it's at maximum capacity right now;
2) If I should wait to take it next spring, even though the time is somewhat inopportune and I may be involved with a large research program;
3) If I'll get into the aforementioned program;
4) Whether or not I'll do well at my summer internship, and if they'll decided to hire me afterward as an employee;
5) Where I can find nice clothes that actually fit me - on a budget;
6) That I really want a bright yellow dress shirt and a tight-fitting black vest to match;

7) That I also want a powder blue Oxford shirt;
8) That the belt my mom got me from Thailand, which I really like, is too small and I'll have to punch extra holes in it myself;
9) If I will get the Fulbright scholarship after graduation;
10) If I really want to do the Fulbright after graduation;
11) If I should apply to a graduate program instead;
12) That I don't know the first thing about graduate programs in English or Creative Writing, though apparently the programs in Iowa and (West?) Virginia are very good;
13) That I'm probably not good enough to get into those programs;
14) If I should re-think my plans to teach in Thailand after graduation;
15) If I would rather open a restaurant instead;
16) If I will ever have anything worthwhile to publish;
17) If I should do an Honors thesis next semester;
18) Who would agree to be my faculty supervisor for the Honors thesis;
19) If I should get a gym membership at the student rec center this summer;
20) If having a muscular physique will make more guys like me;
21) If I'd have a more fulfilling sex life as a result;
22) If I really want to have a "sex life"...

The list goes on and on, but I'm feeling the first swirlings of drowsiness in my head now. I may continue in the morning.

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